"Sharing Your Wedding Pictures"

Ahhh, the wedding pictures.  A source of great joy, nostalgia, and stress.  We live in a new age of technology - duh! - and some of your best pictures, or more natural ones at least, may just be caught by a guest with a smart phone.

Remember the days when your guests probably brought along a camera to your wedding, and MAYBE 6 to 12 months later you saw prints?  And THEN, you had to beg, borrow, or steal the negative to make copies of those pictures you liked.  No more.  It's now the age of instant gratification.

And yes, there IS an app for that!  "Wedpics"  wed pics.com  is an app available for the iPhone and Android.  The bride creates her free app, provides her guests with her wedding ID via text/email/FB to send her pictures and then the moments are "Captured"!

You can enjoy your pictures or video in real-time photo feed!  Your guests can include comments and good wishers.  The bride can also choose to share with her guests, or have a private album.  The guest invites are unlimited!

I have already downloaded the app, and am anxious to try it out.

"The Ceremony Music, Part II"

There are many options for the wedding ceremony music - church choir, professional musicians, harpists, violists, professional singers, friends, family.

At any bridal fair, you will see musicians offering their services - and business cards.  The one bridal fair that Debbie, (Rob's mom), and I attended, had a harpist playing.  It was so sweet.  But I found it a bit melancholy.  I am going to have a hard enough time keeping a dry eye during the ceremony, I do not need the additional tear-factor…

Kenny has been tasked with presenting musical researched options to the bridal couple.  He found the viola player who played during Maggie's 'Accepted Student Mass' when she committed to Providence College.  But alas, he has moved to the Chicago area.  I'm not sure what Kenny's vision is, but I know it will be lovely.  How could it not?

What are your views on the traditional 'Wedding March'?  We had it at our wedding, and to me, that is just a must. But that may not be Maggie's notion.  I'll keep you posted...

"Wedding Ceremony Music"

Music…it can make you cry, make you happy, give you a feeling of plain old well being, or make you sad.  You know it's true.

That's why the music for your wedding ceremony is powerful.  At our wedding, Kenny asked two friends to sing. One sounded very similar to James Taylor.  He sang, "Something in the Way She Moves" by James Taylor.  Please see a link below.  It's a beautiful song.



http://youtu.be/Bfk9nvUni88

The second selection was, "Here There and Everywhere" by the Beetles.  The Link below is of Paul singing it.  Another sweet, lovely song.

http://youtu.be/Mrmm7Bk8rMM

You may need to copy and paste into your browser if you're interested.

Tomorrow, more on thoughts for Maggie's wedding ceremony…but just that, thoughts.

"The Ladies' Shoes!"

Oh my!  Is there anything I love more than shoes, well...yes, but not much...  And I'm not alone. What IS it about shoes that we women so adore?!?  Thus, shoes are a big part of your wedding ensemble, whether you are the bride, mother of the bride, a major family member, or an attendant.

If you are the bride… the first thing you need to ask yourself, is "do I want to wear flats or heels?  Think about it…comfort or style.  You may say, "I'm wearing a long gown.  Who's going to see my shoes?"  Everyone.  Just think of when your groom removes your garter…photo op there...

All I know, is that I wore high heeled pumps for my wedding…and I do not remember my feet hurting. They could have, and probably did.  I don't remember it, though.  But I do like those pictures where you can see my pretty shoes…

What do you think of a pastel for the bridal shoe?  I rather like the idea…

And if you are an attendant?  Should all the ladies' shoes match?  Personal preference.  But I would say "yes"if it were my decision.

As an important guest of the wedding, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, grandmothers of the bride and groom.. what should WE wear?  Well, I'm older now…   :-(  so I am not quite as vain.  Well… still a little…   :-)  I am opting for something in the middle.  My shoes are still a significant heal - a GORGEOUS navy patent, but they are, (shockingly!), comfortable!

I wish I could tell you about Maggie's shoes - but just know, they're KILLER!

"Receptions Site Part 3"

When Maggie and Rob finally decided that the Wadsworth Mansion was "it," I felt like I was buying a house, not renting one for an evening.  I'm not talking about the cost, just the paperwork involved - age after page of contract to sign.

What we liked about the Wadsworth: 1) We could choose our own caterer, (the reliable and experienced Heidi).  2) We could purchase our own liquor (and employ Heidi's bartenders).  3) The grounds and interior was beautiful.  If we were lucky enough to have a nice evening, we could go outside.  If it rained - very possible in New England - there was ample room for dining and dancing in the mansion.  4) The mansion was decorated in a lovely manner already.  We could enhance it's beauty with flowers, but a fortune needn't be spent to make it special.  5) Parking was plentiful. 6) Many locations for great photo opportunities.  7) Guest furniture was already elegant, (please note the picture above), no need for white covered folding chairs. 8) While not in Glastonbury, it was not a super long trek from the church. 9) It has a lovely old "New England" history and,  10) The kitchen was large and conducive to organized food prep and serving.

Hopefully the next time I post about this venue…I'll have actual picture of OUR wedding...

"Reception Site Part II"

The decision was made!  The reception will be held at the Wadsworth Mansion in Middletown, CT.  According to the Wadsworth Mansion website: "In 1900 three years after his marriage to Katharine Fearing Hubbard, Colonel Clarence S. Wadsworth began preparing plans for the site of their future country summer residence "Long Hill" in the rolling hills of western Middletown. An authority on the emerging science of forestry and conservation, Colonel Wadsworth had a concern for the environment far ahead of his time. Working with the nationally renowned landscape architectural firm, The Olmsted Brothers, 500 acres of Long Hill were designed in the tradition of a working landscape. They created an estate that evolved from the formal and classical near the Mansion to varied, well-managed forests and pastures.

The New York architecture firm of Hoppin and Koen designed a domain on a par with the estates of Lenox, Massachusetts, and the "cottages" of Newport, Rhode Island. For over 30 years, Long Hill was the center of ceremonial life for the Wadsworth and Hubbard families. In 1934 a thousand guests, escorted by the Governor's Foot Guard, celebrated the wedding of the Wadsworths' son Julius and his wife Cleome at Long Hill.  After the Colonel's death in 1941, a portion of the land was willed to the State of Connecticut for use as a public park (Wadsworth Falls State Park)….Funded by $5.8 million dollars in City bonds that were authorized by a vote of the citizens of Middletown, the Wadsworth Mansion and immediate grounds have undergone a complete historic rehabilitation. The project started with the demolition of the fire-damaged wings and partition walls added after the Wadsworth era. Although all modern code and ADA requirements have been met, the building has been returned, for the most part, to the configuration of the original Wadsworth design. Restoration took two years and was completed in December of 1999. Once again, the Wadsworth Mansion is a center for ceremonial and cultural activity."

Tomorrow, all the inside details about the reception!

"The Reception Site"

We thought of all options, or at least I THINK we did.  We contemplated a reception at the house, with a tent in the back - Kenny wasn't a fan of this.  It DID create problems I hadn't thought about… porta-potties would have to be rented, we didn't have a commercial size kitchen for the caterer to use...

We then moved on to the local country club.  That was a viable option, we know it well, the food is good, the scenery breathtaking, and it was in town. But it posed it's own set of concerns - we had to serve their liquor, no special choices could be made, the menu was limited to THEIR options, (Heidi, our chosen caterer, worked with us, and was flexible to more vegetarian options), and they were  very firm on their reception hours.

Debbie checked a local boathouse on the Connecticut River, beautiful - but there were some concerns about alcohol consumption.

Maggie and Rob came across the "Wadsworth Mansion" in Middletown, CT.  I was unaware of it, but apparently, it's a sought after site.  Please note the attached pictures.  Tomorrow, I'll tell you all about their selection, its offerings, and how the caterer is incorporated! -- Keep scrolling for the last picture!

"The 'Big Spread' - The Caterer"

When Kenny and I were  married 30 years ago, we had an open bar for our guests at the reception site to enjoy while we were taking the mandatory group pictures at the church, followed by a dinner. That was de rigeur for weddings of our generation - or at least in our part of the country.  Although I went to many a wedding where only punch and cake were served, and they were lovely.

Now, the event has escalated to grander proportions.  I'm not sure what has prompted this extravagance, but I think wedding reality series, such as TLC's  "Four Weddings," (about four brides competing for a dream honeymoon), has contributed to this frenzy.

Now bare essentials are an open bar, hot and cold passed hors d' oeuvres,
sit down dinner, (or a variety of main course stations), a coffee bar, dessert buffet, chocolate bar, the list could be endless. So many choices!  It's overwhelming, and not inexpensive!  What do to?  Whom to choose to handle this, one of the largest expenses of the entire event?  Best recommendation, get referrals, and then go for tastings!  Tomorrow, hear about our adventures in this...

'The Caterer" II

Rob and Maggie decided to visit two caterers.  Debbie, (Rob's Mom), and I were able to go with them to the first meeting.  I was a quiet observer. Debbie had been the lead person for many catered charity events, so she was able to ask questions I had not even thought of.  Maggie and Rob were well versed as well. After the first meeting, I was off to sub, so Debbie and the bridal couple went to the second meeting.  I think the second caterer was favored, but he had a bit of an attitude.  It's important for the food to be very tasty, but you also have to have a good working relationship with your caterer.  If you don't have a wedding planner, he/she will be your point person for the reception.  They will give direction as to when you should have your father/best man make the champagne toast, when to cut the cake, when to dance the first dance.

Afer some thought, Maggie and Rob decided to have a "tasting" with the first caterer.  She is a very lovely, nurturing person.  The second caterer, he with the "Attitude," said there would be a hefty fee per person for the tasting, but if we chose him, the cost would be applied as a credit to our bill.  I don't know much about catering big parties, but this rubbed me the wrong way.  Heidi, the caterer we finally chose, did not employ this policy.

Maggie and Rob brought home some food for us to try- with Heidi's blessing - and it was DELICIOUS!  We will have quite a menu, with the required hot/cold d' oeuvres, dinner, (with several menu options), and open bar, etc.  We have not decided on a dessert to accompany the cake, but a certain 'father of the bride' feels it's a must…  As an interesting note, there are one or two pictures on this page of the reception site...

"Caterer"

Hello!

Please check back tomorrow morning, Saturday, for a HUGE spread on Caterers..no pun intended!  :-)

"Let's Toast!"

The all important "toast."  Let's face it, as long as your dad, best man and maid of honor say a few nice words and don't  embarrass you TOO much, it's not a wedding event breaker.  The Dad's toast may make the bride cry, though...

But what the bride CAN do, is to search for the perfect toasting glasses for her groom and herself. The picture to the right are the saucer type champagne glasses that Kenny and I used to toast our wedding. ( Styles have changed!). Our names are engraved on the front of the glasses, our wedding date on the backs... No excuses, husband of mine, for forgetting our anniversary. Just go retrieve one of these babies and read!  :-)

The glasses to the left are "new" Waterford "toasting flutes sold in the year 2000 as a tribute to our "New Millennium". They feature: Happiness, Health, Love, Peace, and Prosperity. Perfect for a wedding toast, I thought.  So I bought a pair, and decided that they would be available for my daughters' weddings as a family tradition, if they so desire. But if they have other ideas, that's ok too. Weddings are compromises, just like marriages.

"Invitations"

The all important invitation.  It sets the tone for your entire wedding.  Your color scheme, your style - casual, formal, whimsical.

When Debbie, (Rob's mom), and I went to the Bridal Fair, there was OF COURSE a vendor for invitations.  It was four months before the wedding.  The sales person asked if we had invitations yet - we did not.
     "OH MY GOD!" she wheezed.  "Your wedding is in four months and YOU DON'T HAVE YOUR INVITATIONS!!!"  She lost a sale on pure principle alone.

Did I go into panic mode -- yes, yes I did.   (FYI, we have the invitations now).

I raced home, only to discover that Maggie had things well under control.  Yes, you can spend thousands and THOUSANDS of dollars on the invitations, but you don't have to.  There are so many options out there - just google "wedding invitations," and you will see.

You can choose from "print your own from your computer", to engraved invitations - with many options in-between.  And let me tell you --- you can receive gorgeous invitations in three business days! Maggie's are lovely.  She put a lot of time and effort into them. We will address them by hand in calligraphy - I did for my own wedding.  But you can also hire a calligrapher, at GREAT expense.  I think after the wedding, I may start up a little business...

" Hostess Gifts"

"Favor", "Welcoming Gift",  or even the more juvenile "Goodie Bag ", are all monikers for a gift presented to the wedding guests as a "Thank You" for sharing "Their Special Day."

When I was a little girl, the gift from the bride to her guests was a lovely white box, delicately tied with a white satin ribbon. Inside the box was a second piece of wedding cake that one could eat the next day, or as I was told by my mother, "…could place under my pillow and dream of my future husband."
I went to only a few weddings as a very young child…(don't forget the ill-fated flower girl fiasco!), but I received the wedding cake box every time, and placed it under my pillow always.  Maybe it was just a southern California thing - maybe just among my parents' friends.  Anyway, it as a nice traditions, and its concept seems to have morphed into the grander "Gift" we see at weddings today.

I looked through "the knot.com" and found some charming items.  Please see the pictures below for some cute ideas.  One not pictured, which I thought was useful AND inventive was providing each guest with a pair of flip flops to wear during the dancing part of the reception.  Especially for the ladies, the flip flops would be greatly appreciated.

Ideas below: personalized tea bags, flavored olive oil, honey, chocolate kisses, flower seeds, (particularly cute!!), and Hershey mini chocolate bars.  Hey, it's the thought that counts, right?!?

"The Wedding Bouquet"

Yesterday, we talked about the garter.   Today it's only fair that we give equal time to the bridal bouquet.

.

To the right, you will see a picture of my very own bouquet. If I had it to do over again, I would have more red on my bouquet, (that was my color, red!), and less white. My bridesmaids had the red bouquets, as they were wearing red. I would have given them the white ones. I think it makes a nice contrast against the ladies dresses, bride AND bridesmaids. I'm trying to steer Maggie in that direction, but we'll see...

I also like the ball style bouquets, although a more modified shape. I think Maggie does too.
Our florist has very generously offered to provide us with a "tossing" bouquet, so Maggie can keep her original, and have it preserved. I did the same, and kept several lovely flowers from my bridal bouquet in a crystal jar on my dresser for 27 years. It survived all our corporate moves, until one day, in my haste over an inconsequential thing, I knocked it over and it smashed to the floor. I cried.  Kenny gave me a hug and said, "That those dried flowers weren't really what defined our marriage."  And let's face it, they WERE looking a little ratty…  :-/    Below is a picture of some of my single friends trying to catch my bouquet.

"The Garter"

There are two traditions that no matter what part of our great country you live in, are observed at weddings.  One is the tossing of the bouquet to all the unmarried women at the wedding, and the other is the flinging of the garter to the unmarried men.

The retrieval of the garter can be a bit risque.  I chose to not sit on the chair provided, but to instead place my foot in the chair.  This enabled an easy retrieval.  I also placed it below my knee... I have been to some weddings where I blushed at the antics involved in obtaining the garter.

Rob has a very inventive idea to toss the garter to the waiting crowd, and if the weather's good, from a lovely venue.

Brides, consider buying two garters, (and yes, wearing both!), one to toss and one to save and maybe hand down to your daughters to wear on their big day.  It could become a family tradition, to wear the family heirloom, and toss and new one!

I didn't think of wearing two.  I wish I had.  Kenny had to toss my one and only garter.  I lost it forever.  But I had a second chance.   When I converted to being a Roman Catholic - we had to get married all over again -with witnesses and the whole 9 yards.  We even had a little reception after.  I feel very confident that church does not impose this requirement today.  But I tell you this because...I wore a garter that day, and saved it for my wished for daughters...

"The Knot"

 



      It's obviously a new age of wedding planning for brides than it was when I planned my own wedding thirty years ago. When Maggie got engaged, I joyfully went to Barnes and Noble and bought her "Brides Magazine" and a wedding planning/etiquette book. She graciously received them, but I needn't have bothered. All either one of us had to do was go on line.  The best wedding planning website out there, in my opinion, is theknot.com, followed by a close second, lover.ly.com.

The Knot promises a "Local and national wedding vendor resource that offers a gift registry, bridal gown search, local vendor information, and wedding etiquette."  Other invaluable tools are" My Guest list," "My Website," "My Checklist," and COUPONS!  If we're behind on an item on the "My Checklist," I hear about it...
Check it out, and keep scrolling for another picture...

The Gentlemen's Attire

Not nearly enough attention is given to the groom's and groomsmen's attire. It's all about the bride, as well it should be, but hey, they are going to be in the pictures too, and need to look their best.

The questions are important, but basic.... Tux, suit, or blazer and slacks?  Do you want the men's ties to match the female attendants' dresses?  Do you want the same number of groomsmen as the bridesmaids, or do you want a few extra male friends to be solely "ushers"?  (This is would entail not "Standing Up "with the bridal party during the ceremony, only escorting female guests to their seats.)
What ever you decide, keep in mind the time of day for the ceremony and reception.

Probably the most important detail I can share, and it's an obvious one, although I never even thought about it, is that if the bride wears a shade of off-white, the groom and his attendants' shirts must be also. Otherwise, the bride will appear dingy - horrors !

The picture on the right is of my handsome husband and HIS groomsmen 30 years ago.

My Cozy Mystery

Today's blog entry is devoted to my recently published cozy- mystery.  "What is a cozy-mystery?" You ask.  Well, even though I have been reading this genre for years,  I didn't know the term!  A "cozy-mystery" is a mystery that has no blood and gore, the central figure is a woman, and she is almost always in a nurturing role, i.e., a nurse, librarian, teacher, baker, caterer, A WEDDING PLANNER.  :-)

Please read below a brief description of my book:

Description

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

Grace Mc Kenna is a spunky, beautiful wedding planner in exclusive Santa Barbara, California. It's not easy being 'wedding planner to the rich and famous', but someone has to do it.  Grace's seemingly ideal life is complicated by a handsome cop ex-husband, a mischievous 11 year old daughter, and oh yes, a murdered assistant who just happens to be the Maid of Honor in her latest wedding. Grace wants to solve the case when her best friend is accused of the murder, but is the cost too great?

You can click on the link above to visit the book's website, or search my name, Mary P Karnes, at amazon Kindle or Apple iBooks. It's soon to be out on Barnes and Noble Nook - 2-3 weeks!  At $2.99, it's a cheap date!

Maid of Honor

Attendants are a big part of your wedding.  They literally stand up for you.  They represent you, they support you.  Questions to ask: 1) Can your attendants be relied on?  I kid you not.  I know of a bride who had one of her bridesmaids just did not show the day of the wedding!  2) Are your attendants the whiney type?  Or will your day be all about you, as it should?   and 3) Can you depend on them to be responsible on the big day?  Or will they be the type to "overindulge"?  Maggie is very lucky.  She has four built-in bridesmaids, her three sisters, and her future sister, Amanda - Rob's sister.  She was able to ask two college friends as well.  They are all lovely, "reliable" girls.

But the maid of honor is the one who all the heavy lifting falls to.  That is Kathleen, or as we call her, KK.

I will give credit where credit is due, and Maggie DOES realize how lucky she is to have Kathleen in her corner.  Kathleen has organized everything from a family shower to the Bachelorette party to planning what to pack in the all important  "Bride's Emergency Kit."  (And all those pesky little details in between).  KK is pictured above, and to the left, is an old picture of the whole crew of "Karnes Girls."  From left to right, Tess, (now 17), Maggie - the bride, Julia, (now 14), and KK.  
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

Above link: the mystery "Simply the Best" by Mary P. Karnes available in e-book format from amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple iBooks

"Wedding Rings"

 A wedding ring is so personal.  It's something that one hopes will last a life time.  Custom says once on, it's never to be taken off.  I recently discovered that a bride is supposed to take off her engagement ring prior to the wedding ceremony and wear it on her right hand.  Then after the groom places her wedding ring on her left hand, the bride can put her engagement ring on top of her wedding band.  You see, the wedding band is to be closest to the bride's heart.

Maybe I'm preaching to the choir here, but I didn't know this.

There are so many variables to consider.  What metal is your engagement right?  The wedding band should match your engagement ring. What metal is your groom choosing for his ring?  Do you want the metals to match? What do you wear more of, gold or silver?  What looks better with your skin tone?  Of course cost is a large issue.  Do you want diamonds, and if so, can you afford them?  Would you prefer a more precious metal, i.e., platinum, maybe necessitating forgoing the cost of diamonds on a gold ring?  Wikipedia states: "…Platinum's resistance to wear and tarnish is well suited for making fine jewelry. Pure platinum is slightly harder than pure iron. The metal has an excellent resistance to corrosion and high temperature and has stable electrical properties…"
Do you want to hand down your ring to future generations? If so, you may want to lean toward          platinum, given it's durability.  It's a happy conundrum to have.  Keep scrolling for more pictures!