"The Wedding Last Night"

Kenny and I were talking…How long had it been since we had last been to a wedding?  You know how it is…when all your friends are getting married, there is a period of time when you may attend as many as four weddings a month.   Then there is a lull.  You may attend family weddings, but as I have no siblings, and Kenny only two, that wasn't a large pool.  And living so far from "home" we weren't able to attend many of the extended family weddings.

We both decided that that last wedding we attended was when we lived in Dallas and went to the wedding of the daughter of a business associate in Fort Worth.  That was a LONG time ago…

Last night, we had the pleasure of attending the wedding of the son of dear friends.  Yes, it begins.  Now the wedding crush of the children of our FRIENDS!  In the next couple blog entries, I'll address all the changes in wedding etiquette I observed last night.  But today, I'll tell you about the most striking thing TO ME that I noted.

It was…if you already haven't figured it out by the photo above, (www.appsfuze.com),  the mother/son dance.

Having only daughters, I had focused on myself, and never gave much thought to what the mother of the groom experiences throughout this process.  A woman raises her son, then when he marries, has to share him with another woman - and we women are not wired to share well -- well…I'M not  :-)

The mother/son dance punctuated that bond last night.  It was touching, and beautiful.  Maggie is lucky that her Rob has a good relationship with his mother, and that Debbie is such a generous soul - in many ways.  Looking forward to 13 days…and that mother/son dance!

Tomorrow…wedding guest attire…  http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Words Of Wisdom"

From my long time, dear friend, Liz: "On Valentine's Day at the Vatican City, Pope Francis offered advice to 25,000 couples that the recipe for marital success lies in saying three simple words:  "Please, thanks and sorry."  He said that expressions of courtesy, gratitude and contrition go a long way toward conserving and enhancing love over time.  "Never finish the day without making peace!" he begged the couples.  "Because if you end the day without making peace, what you have inside becomes hard and cold and it becomes harder to make peace the following day."

This advice knows no religious bounties. It's for everyone. Food for thought. Thanks, Liz!
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Odds and Ends…"

Here are some odds and ends to think about as the end stage of your wedding planning approaches.

1)  Consider a house-sitter on the day of the event.  Weddings and Funerals are prime-time for break-ins. Everyone knows you're going to be out of the house on those days, and they usually know the time…especially with social media and BLOGS!  We're going to employ one.

2) It's a good idea to plan your departure times to the wedding ceremony to limit confusion.  You want to know in advance who is traveling in which vehicle and at what time.  For example: Maggie and her bridesmaids will leave in a limo from our home to go to the church, but the maids will need to have a vehicle at the church to take them to the reception.  That way they have the flexibility to depart the reception at their discretion.

Remember to have designated drivers - even among the family of the wedding party, if you are not going to have limo service for all.

Also, consider getting a car service for older family members, as they may want to return home earlier than the rest of the family.

3) Consider two photographers, one to cover the groom and his party pre-wedding, and a second to photograph the bride and her attendants.  This greatly expedites the photo session.

4)  Check the weather report.  If it rains, likely in New England, you will want to be prepared with a covering for the bride as she exits the limo at the church.  No fun to rummage around last minute for umbrellas.  If it appears that it will be a hot day, talk to your baker and may sure your cake can withstand the increased heat.  Bakers usually deliver the cake hours ahead of the guests' first arrival.  Ditto the florist. Heat can greatly affect your flowers'  life span and general perkiness.

5)  And a final thought for today - I'm sure there will be more tomorrow…make sure you have plenty of tissues in your handbag --- or as New Englander's say…"Pocketbook."  :-)
Photo below of the bride: "White Pearl Photography"
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Moving Day…"

Anyone who knows me well…knows me VERY WELL…knows that I cry often, and easily.  I used to hate it.  Now, while I don't like this about myself, I accept it.

I cry for a multitude of reasons: anger,  frustration, joy, sadness, emotion.  Let's just say, I am very anxious about the upcoming wedding.  I am beyond happy about the union of these two special people, but I am fearful my emotions will get the best of me.

Today was test.  I watched my daughter pack up her belongings for the first part of her move to her new home with her soon to be husband.  But I held my own.
No tears were shed.
Soon... I can no longer yell upstairs to Maggie, and or text Rob
and ask if he wants to cross the street and join us
for dinner.

They will no longer be coming home for weekends
as they did in college --- they will be out of state perusing
their post-grad degrees.  I can only hope they choose to
set up their medical practice close to home…
Pictures: Maggie, age 4, Robert - in the middle of picture
two, and picture 3, yesterday, at Rob's getting ready to go.

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Massachusetts Shower Part II"

I just received these pictures from the Massachusetts shower hosted by Rob's Aunt Jenn.  Isn't modern technology a wonderful thing?!?  I thought I'd share...

The top picture showcases the  homemade meringues created by Rob's cousin, Katherine.

The mini vases, (on the mantle to the left), were hand sculpted by Rob's cousins, Katherine and Elizabeth, and given as party favors to guests along with his sister Amanda's hand crafted Lavendar Salve from Tweefontein Herb Farm in New Palz, NY- tweeherbs.com 


Next up is a picture of the fabulous, (and I speak from personal experience!)- Classic New England Lobster rolls made my Rob's Grandmother, Jackie….Keep scrolling...

The photo to the left just may have been my favorite culinary delight of the afternoon, the Bellini Bar!  Outstanding!

"It Happens…"

                                                 blog.weddingfavors.ca (above photo)

                

To quote "Forest Gump"… It happens…

So…would you like to hear about all the bumps and glitches I've made/experienced in the planning of Rob and Maggie's wedding?   I guess this stuff happens to everyone… and it's better to get them out of the way now, right?!?

1)  I addressed an invitation to the father of one of Maggie's best friends by the wrong name…Have known this gentleman for 5 years.  I inserted the first name of the name on the line below his!

2)  I spelled Matthew incorrectly on an invitation…how does one do THAT?!?


photo above: pinterest.com

3)  I miscounted  the wedding boutonnieres - good thing we caught THAT one now!

4)  I sent another of Maggie's dearest friend's wedding invitations to the wrong address…In my defense, she had moved, and I didn't have updated contact info...

5)  And the best of them all... I arrived to pick up the Karnes girls' bridesmaids dresses…one week early… But hey…better than one week late…  I just sure I have it all out of the way now!  :-) http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"The Fence"

I was old enough to know better...

I had just brought home my brand new" Texas Station Wagon" - a Chevy Suburban.  I LOVED it!
I had never driven a car of it's size however…and we had just put in a new fence in the backyard.

In our then town of Plano, Texas, all houses have alleys behind the homes, and the garages face rear in the alleys.  It was supposed to make it more convenience for trash pickup, deliveries, etc.  I was never a fan, rather indifferent.

So…boom.  I ran into the new fence with my new car.  I'm not sure I even 'fessed up to Kenny about this.  Fence was OK, and the car was too, except for a small scuff on the left bumper.  I was sick. Every time I went to get in the car, I looked at the scuff, and hoped it would look better.  It didn't.  I would like awake at night miserable.  I lost sleep. Guess what?…A year later, we moved to Connecticut, and because of the snow and hilly topography, I had to get a four-wheel drive Suburban, and traded the "scuffed one" in.  In less than a year, that scuff didn't matter AT ALL.

So if I can give just one piece of advice to Rob and Maggie, it would be: 'Worry only about the things that matter, and even then, worry about only those things you have the potential to change.  You will have a happier marriage if you do so, and be a happier person.'  I should take my own advice…
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Bridal Shower Number One"

 Sometimes, things are so good, you wonder if you deserve them.  Sometimes they seems so sweet, you don't thing they're real.  But like the cookies to the right, sometimes, they as good as they look.  Yes, usually those beautiful desserts don't taste like they advertise, but sometimes, sometimes they do…

Yesterday, Rob's godmother, Jennifer, hosted a Bridal Shower for Maggie.  It was exquisite.  The food, the company, the family, the gifts.  Maggie's greatest gift is the family she is marrying into.  I especially cherish family, as my extended family is large, and I relished it, but my nuclear family is small - no siblings.

Both Rob's maternal and paternal families were present.  They knew Maggie, knew her well, I think... and welcomed us, Maggie's mom and sisters.  I was humbled…thank you all.

Please enjoy the pictures.  I only included a few…
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

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"Call Me Old-Fashioned…"

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Call me old fashioned, but I still think invitations should be mailed, SNAIL-MAIL.  Or let me re-phrase, I DID think they had to be mailed.

Maggie introduced me to a company, (I'm sure there are many), called paperless post.  www.paperlesspost.com. (This link will take you to the iPad version, but there is a website for a desktop version and an iPhone app).

I should be jaded by now by modern technology, but continued to be amazed.  Send an e-invite, and see instantly if it has arrived in recipients' in-boxes. OR, if you have made a mistake and typed it incorrectly, you are advised instantly it "bounced". No more waiting a week for the US Postal Service to "Return to Sender."  Once the recipient opens the e-invite, you can see on your "Dashboard" that it has been read. Guests can RSVP on the spot, send you a  personal note, and advise you of their mailing addresses.  While I have received e-invites before, I was always intimidated to use them - no more!  I am going to use this great product... AND some cards are free! - More elaborate designs have a nominal cost.

Please note some of the cute invite options below.

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Another Wedding??"

I was talking to my mom the other day, and she asked me, "What are you going to write about after Maggie's wedding is over?"  She knows how much I've enjoyed writing this blog, how it's been a creative outlet and how the readers' kind comments have been salve to my mother's soul - you moms out there know what I'm talking about - at least you mothers of daughters!  :-)

"I don't know, I said, honestly. "I'll think of something."

My wait is over, new subject matter has presented itself...KK's engaged!!  No details yet, but after Maggie's wedding is wrapped up, please continue viewing for more interesting 'fun' wedding stuff!

An end note....I'm afraid the church secretary thought it was either a mistake, or a joke, when she returned a call to our home phone today after a request was made to her office to marry...http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Hair and Make-up"

Ah, the bride's hair and make-up.  No one can tell you how your hair will best look expect your hair care professional…and your own family.  Best advice, don't look too different from your every day look - and that goes for make-up too.  Ask a make-up professional about which skin foundation works best with photography.  Some brides choose to have their make-up applied by an air brush system.  If you go that route, have a test run to see if you like it before the big day.  It's a good idea to do the same with your hair.  I recommend taking your veil to your practice hair appointment  and asking her assistance putting it on.  Another thought - take your mom and bridesmaid with you to the appointment so they can be instructed as well.

An attractive hair option is to insert either artificial flowers or crystals into your undo so your hair still looks very bride-like, even if you choose to take your veil off during the reception.

And how about those teeth?  I'm going to use some Crest White Strips, personally!  ;-)

Remember - put extra bobby pins and hair spray in the "Bride's Emergency Kit" that your maid-of-honor or other responsible female will be toting around!
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Mothers' Flowers"

Happy Mother's Day, one and all - whether you're a mother, or an honorary mother to the young girls and women in your life. You are all appreciated.

Mother of the bride, mother of the groom, grandmothers - these women are VIPS at a wedding. And as such, must be honored with flowers.

There are three options 1)  hand held bouquets - I know! I always thought they were reserved for bridesmaids and the bride! 2) a pin on corsage  and 3) a wrist corsage.

Debbie, (Rob's mom), and I are opting for the hand held bouquet. One too many hugs, and the "pin on" variety gets squished. And I don't like things on my wrist.  Our florist was very strong in her opinion that grandmothers much prefer the pin on corsage. So we're going with that.  I'll let you know how it turns out.

And as it IS Mother's Day... Please enjoy a "Mother's Pride" - some stand-out Karnes' Girls artwork.  Picture  # 1 is "Tear Art". Julia used a photo of herself as a pattern, then tore black and white construction paper to create a self-portrait. Picture #2 - a clay piece, Picture #3 - an abstract drawing and # 4 a metal etching of our beloved dog, Schultz.

Tomorrow, I promise I'll get back on track and focus on wedding stuff only. Thanks for indulging me these last few days!

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Detour"

If I may… I am going to take a detour today.  Yes, today's entry is BASED on a wedding related issue, but the back story is not.

To set the stage, the story I'm about to relate occurred when the family looked like this.  KK, 16, Maggie, 13, Tess 7, Julia 4.  It was Christmas 2005.  Not pictured is our beloved dachshund, Schulz.

We were traveling from New England to California to spend the holidays with the family.  Kenny was going to meet us there, as he was traveling for work, and could not get away till the weekend.  (Bad mother that I was, I was taking the kids out of school a few days early).

Being the dad and father, that HE was, Kenny arranged for a car service to take us to the airport so I wouldn't have to suffer with the parking, four kids, a dog and all the luggage.  Yep, he's that kinda guy…

4:40 AM, the car arrives.  It's a town car that seats…5, and this includes the front seat.  Let me refresh you, five Karnes, a dog, AND a driver.

I was not happy.  I like to get to the airport REALLY early, have to check everyone in, pay for the dog - can't do that in advance -- why you ask ---- I DON'T KNOW!!!

I really hated to wait around for the new car to get to the house.

"I'm sorry, ma'am,"

MA'AM!  Now the driver really WAS in trouble!

"But we have no other cars.  It's Christmas, you know!"  Yes…I knew…

I won't bore you with all the details, but the kids and luggage were loaded and I drove to the airport.

Complaints were made, a credit issued, and a free ride to the airport promised.

Fast forward NINE years.  Now WHY I called the SAME limo company for the wedding transportation as the one mentioned above, I DON'T KNOW.  But I did.

I ordered the limo, and then was advised it would be more cost effective if I had a separate town car drive the bride and groom 'away from the reception' - can't say where they're going…

Ding ding.  Bells went off.  "Well…I have the funniest story," I said to the registration agent.  OK, I know it's too late to make this story short, but to make it a little shorter… I got the town car for free after I told her, that "Yes, of course I kept the NINE year old apology e-mail from the limo service…."

Sometimes, it's the little things.
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Shower Gift - Round Two"

******  SPOILER ALERT!!!******

Once again, I am stuck. What to give Maggie for a shower gift, hosted by Rob's generous relatives?

  I thought back to my own bridal shower gifts. One of my favorites was a frame in which my wedding invitation was placed.

 I'm on my way today to pick up the framed "Doily" at Michaels  (if you remember, another shower gift for Maggie- I'm framing a lovely doily my grandmother crocheted).

If pictures are included below, that means I was successful on two counts, the Doily looks GREAT, and I found an invitation frame. - Off I go - I'm sure a Starbucks run is in order…

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So, yes, I was successful.  To the lower right is my creation. When I received a my own framed wedding invitation 30 + years ago, I, in my ignorance, thought it was a "kit" or something.  Now I realize that the gift giver very probably made the needlepoint frame.  I honestly can't remember who gave it to me, but I can tell you one thing, I'm going to go look it up in my memory book - a very good idea for situations just like this…  There is no "Kit" to frame wedding invitations.  You CAN, however, go on-line and special order one.  I just purchased a frame which I thought complimented the invitation colors, and some "fancy"" card stock" to "float" the invitation on -- I got a little help at Michaels... note my new lingo...


To the lower left, is my grandmother's "Special Order" framed doily.  Did I mention that she won FIRST PLACE in the CALIFORNIA STATE FAIR for an afghan she crocheted?!?  And California is a BIG state.

"Vendor Revisit - Florist"

We chose our florist six months ago, made the deposit, and I sort of forgot about her.  Maggie didn't.  Even though she had selected her color scheme, Maggie thought it would be a good idea to touch base and make sure her initial choices were still on track.

She booked an appointment.

"Let's take the bridesmaids' dress, and make sure the shade is right with our flower color," Maggie suggested.

"Huh?!?" I said.

Genius, it turns out.

Apparently, all shades of a hue are not the same.  We completely changed our rose color to better complement the bridesmaids' dresses.  The original color would not have worked.  Who knew?!?

Truly, I DO know, this is a little obsessive…but still...

We also learned a few pertinent facts.  If we chose peonies, the weather can play a big part in how the flower arrangements look.  If closed peonies are included in the bouquets, they may open prematurely is the weather is unseasonably hot.  This can affect the overall look of the bouquets/arrangements.  Food for thought…
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Your Signature Wedding Cocktail"

I have chosen four cocktails from the website, www.theknot.com,  that are beautiful "Signature Wedding Cocktails."  Photo number one is titled, "Blue Hawaiian."  Photo number two, "White Cosmopolitan," photo number three, "Honeydew Ginger Gin Fizz," number four, "Tangerine"

So what is the purpose of the "Ultimate Signature Wedding Cocktail"?  From what I can discern, two things - to add a bit of flair in either your theme or wedding color scheme, or - to save cost on your bar tab.  Maybe both...

It can be more economical to have a beer, wine and "signature cocktail" bar vs. a full bar. If you have only beer, wine, and  signature cocktails, the host only has to buy alcohol for three drinks, vs. having to stock a full bar.  This is provided the host is buying his own alcohol - a cost effective choice.

We do not have a signature cocktail - but if we are going to choose one, we better do it soon.  The wedding is next month!  Although I'm not sure there is a matching cocktail for Maggie's color scheme…

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"The Top Layer of Your Wedding Cake, and Storing it"

The tradition of eating the top layer of your wedding cake on your first anniversary is at least as old as my great-grandparents.  Some bakers now offer a "free" separate top layer to save.  You must store it the right way, however, or it will NOT be a delicious experience.  We must have done a decent job of storing our top layer, as I know we ate it, and I don't remember it being awful…  Luck must have been involved as much as expertise.  Please enjoy the article I copied from www.yumsugar.com





Photo, Susannah Chen

It's de rigueur for newlyweds to save the top tier of their wedding cake to enjoy on the first anniversary. The idea behind this tradition, which dates back as far as the late 19th century, is for couples to savor the cake once again — as well as the memories of the big day and the first year of marriage.

Enjoying a well-preserved piece of wedding cake should be a pleasant reminder of your big day, so make sure it isn't ruined by a dry, smelly cake wrought with freezer burn. Learn how to properly store the top layer of cake when you read more.

To store the cake:

1. Designate a person to save the top tier once the cake cutting begins.
2. Set aside any fragile and large ornaments or decorations, such as the cake topper.
3. To avoid a stale cardboard taste, ensure the cake sits on wrapped cake board. A cardboard cake board should be wrapped with foil.
4. Place the cake in a freezer until the icing becomes firm, 20 minutes to three hours, depending on the icing.
5. Cover all of the cake's surface area with a generous amount of plastic wrap, avoiding air pockets.
6. Follow plastic wrap with two layers of aluminum foil.
7. Place wrapped cake in an airtight storage container and freeze for a year.

To enjoy the cake:

1. One day before your first anniversary, begin defrosting the cake: transfer it from the freezer to the refrigerator.
2. After two hours, remove the cake from its wrapping. Continue to defrost in the refrigerator.
3. Bring the cake to room temperature before consuming.
4. Serve and enjoy.

If you know you'll be moving within your first year, lack the freezer space, or simply don't want to bother with the process of freezing your wedding cake, order a small, six-inch anniversary cake from the same bakery. Ask for similar cake flavors and fillings and have it adorned like your wedding cake (you can even save your cake topper to be placed on it). Use the cake knife and serving set from your wedding, and enjoy the memories of the special day with fresh cake.

Did you celebrate your first anniversary with the top tier of your wedding cake? What are your cake-preserving tips?

Susannah Chen www.yumsugar.com

"A Little Known Factoid..."

A little known fact... Kenny and I have been married ... Twice.

Before we got married , Kenny - the Roman Catholic, and I - the Protestant, talked about our religious future. We decided we would get married in my hometown of Ojai, CA in my Presbyterian church. THEN I would convert to Roman Catholicism. I was happy with that. My dad had grown up a Catholic, and I felt an affinity to the religion.

It took me 18 months - the length of the program determined by individual parishes - I truly don't know of any other program that took that long - then or now. But boy, did I learn a lot. I think I'm a better informed Catholic than Kenny... And he went to Catholic school!

Although the church recognized my Protestant baptism, they didn't recognized our marriage - I believe this has changed...  Remember, this was over 30 years ago!

So... We were married again, in a Roman Catholic Church... by a priest.

Please see below a pictures of my hometown church where we were married the first time.

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Cute Bridal Shower Ideas - Not My Own!"

If you haven't caught my hints by now, I will remind you…I am not a creative, crafty- type person.  But my daughter, KK, is.  Lucky for me, lucky for Maggie.  As Maid of Honor, KK will host a bridal shower for Maggie.  Not only is she creative, there is such a thing called… Pinterest.com - I'm joking.  I know you all know about it and could search, "Bridal Shower" and find these items, but I have done it for you!  :-)  This is about as far as my creative instinct will take me…

But check out these pictures… number one above, "Ask bridal shower guests to bring an antique cup for the bride to start an eclectic collection", 2) to the left -- pastel peppermint patty candies for the candy bar

3)  Below, "nail polish" cookies - how cool are these?!?

4) Not the best picture, but a GREAT idea, freeze edible flowers for beautiful ice cubes!

5) My favorite, caviar "Gems" atop cracker rings - per Martha Stewart

and 6) A very cute shower activity --- "make your own jewelry"

Check back tomorrow, and I just may have some of my own ideas...   http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best