"Something Old"

We all know the old saying, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue."  I think most brides from my generation, to my daughters', adhere to this.

My own mother gave me HER mother's engagement ring on my wedding day.  KK, as the first born of my four daughters, will be the lucky girl to receive her Great Grandmother's ring when she marries.

 Maggie is the first to get married among my daughters. But when she was born, I decided to give her the gift Kenny gave me upon her birth. For each girl, he presented me with a piece of jewelry made of the new baby's birthstone. Maggie - lucky girl - was born in April - diamond!!  So her something old for her wedding day, will be the diamond tennis bracket her dad gave me the day she was born.

I think it will be a special moment when I put the bracelet on Maggie's wrist - but what was I thinking?  My jewelry collection is going to be depleted  x 4 !  :-)

This picture is taken on Maggie's birthday. . Kenny, KK, Maggie and I.

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best    "Simply the Best" by Mary P Karnes - A Wedding Mystery!

Wedding Time Out

Debbie 

Kim 

MomWeddings are a time of great joy, and great unrest, both from fatigue and emotional upheaval.   So when things get stressed, lean on those who love you, and whom you love.  Relax, have a cup of tea, read a book, take a nap, laugh.

I have been blessed with many wonderful women in my life, from my daughters, to high school            friends, college friends, work friends, Utah, Texas, Chicago, and Connecticut friends, (softball!!).  But three women stand out.  Debbie, (my almost family- Rob's mom), Kim, my cousin, and as close to a sister I as I'll ever have, and most importantly, my mother.    The picture of the African Violet  above was gifted to me by Debbie.  Usually, I kill all plants I own.  But not this one.  It is flourishing, just like my friendship with Debbie.  

The jar of jam, (with a picture of her darling granddaughter),  is from my cousin.  She makes it every year and sends jars to me all the way from CA to CT.  Not only that, she is always ready to lend an ear.

As for my mother…everyone loves their mom, and so do I.  Does anyone ever loves you as your mother?…

Tomorrow, I'll get back to more light hearted fare…remember I have the appointment Friday with the Daring Dan  - my personal stylist at Nordstrom…now THAT will be a story…

Mother of the Bride Dress

Yes…I know…the hair…This is a picture of me with the Bride, age 9 months.  Hard to believe this little baby is now married.

So let's talk about what's REALLY important…Mother of the Bride Dresses!

This had been a worry of mine. I wanted to look GOOD on her wedding day!  I wanted to look trim, fresh, and calm. It's hard as we age, isn't it ladies?!?

So, what to do?  I made the choice early on that I would not select my dress from a bridal salon.  First, they are grossly overpriced, second, if I order it, and don't like it, I CAN NOT RETURN IT!  And third, I have heard horror stories that the dresses are ordered in a a size too large, thus more alterations are required than are truly necessary.

I decided that I would go to Nordstrom.  Months ago I was making countless Christmas returns and, as luck would have it, landed with a personal shopper.  I made an appointment with "Dan" to look at dresses.  Dan also said he would schedule me with Nordstrom's hair and makeup services…was he trying to tell me something?!?  Tomorrow, I'll tell you if it was a success…or not…

Posted by Mary P. Karnes, "Mother of the Bride"

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best  My new mystery available on e-book format from amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple iBooks.  If you like weddings, sunny California, and a good mystery, you'll LOVE "Simply the Best" by Mary P. Karnes

The Wedding Veil

This photo is of my headpiece and veil.  They are 30 years old now.  I had them preserved, along with my dress, by my local dry cleaner.  I opened the "Memory Keepsake Box" when Maggie got engaged, and coincidentally close to Kenny's and my 30 year anniversary.  I was pleased at how well the dress and veil held up.

All four of our daughters are now taller than I.  I do not hold onto hopes that one of them will wear my dress.  Dresses can be hemmed, but not much can be done when when they are too short.

The veil/headpiece is another story.  I would love it if someday one of the girls wore some component of my "Veil."

This creates a problem.  My dress and veil were pure white.  It is the fashion now to wear an ivory shade.  White is very harsh, and the off-white hue is much more flattering to most skin tones.

So what would one do to transform the pure white netting to a darker shade?  I have read that it can be easily done by brewing weak tea and staining the gauze.  It's a scary proposition.  If I ever do it, I'm going to go to my local fabric store and buy some white netting, and experiment. Or better yet, find a company that would do it for me.  Maybe the type of company that sells "dyed to match shoes"?

Another option is to use just the headpiece with an ivory netting.  We'll see…I have four weddings to hope…

http:my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best  If you like light-hearted mysteries, check out my new book, "Simply the Best", ( by Mary P Karnes), about a WEDDING PLANNER! in sunny Santa Barbara, California.  She's spunky, brave and beautiful to boot!  Available at amazon, Barnes and Noble and Apple iBooks in e-book form.

Wedding Dress Alterations

To the left is a picture of my maid of honor and one of my beautiful bridesmaids helping me dress on the morning of my wedding.  Excited much???  Yes I was… wish I could show you a picture of Maggie, but for now, this is the best I can do.

Ahhh…the alterations.  They are a large part of the price of the dress.  I was SHOCKED to hear that Kleinfelds, and apparently all other bridal salons, charge extra for their alterations!  Kleinfelds' rate is a flat $700.00 for alterations. If you only need the gown hemmed, $700.00. If you need hours and hours of bead-work, lace repair, zipper replacement, embellishment reorganization, $ 700.00.  Doesn't seem quite fair…

As I hated to face that long trip back to New York for fittings, we opted to contract one of the local bridal seamstress in town to do the work.  Her rate was much more reasonable, and yes, I'll say it…fair.  Nice little savings.  As this woman had done work for us before on prom dresses, I feel comfortable.

Kleinfelds, Part II

To the left is a picture of my four daughters, from left to right, Tess, KK, Maggie, ( the bride THIS time around), and Julia outside of Kleninfelds, NYC.

Klenifelds was decorated beautifully for Christmas.  You can see a few details behind the girls.  The small room immediately behind the them is the vestibule before opening  into the larger, grand waiting area - where you see the wreath hanging on the wall.

So…back to the dress experience.  It was a little anti-climatic.  After all the emotions surfacing from the sisters, and yes, MOM, we were all exhausted.

"Are you going to say yes, to the dress?" Our consultant queried.  I always counseled the girls: "If you're hungry or tired, don't make a decision - especially if it's a big one."  And with the Karnes girls, we are hungry all the time.   And this time we were tired too.

Maggie still on the fence. So she asked, "Can you take my measurements please, and I'll call back this week with my decision?"  We were pretty sure we had a winner.

Our sweet young consultant became a horrified woman.  "Oh no!" she hissed.  "Kleinfelds does NOT operate that way!"

I was hungry too…"Look," I said more harshly than I intended.  "We really think we have the dress picked out, but we're exhausted," (I left out the hungry part), "and it took us 5 hours to get here." (A little exaggeration, but she didn't have to know that). "And I'm not making a ten hour round trip just for measurements."

"Wellllll," she drew out the word.  "I'd have to ask my manager to make an exception."
"OK," I responded.

Long story a little shorter, they made the exception.

Maggie called Kleinfelds a few days later with her choice, and negotiated an 18% discount.  She's not my daughter for nuttin'…  I know, 18% is an odd number.  When she was negotiating, the initial response was, "Kleinfelds does NOT operate that way."  Well…apparently they do.  And 18% of the price of a gown is substantial.

I wish I could describe the dress to you.  It's lovely, and she looks beautiful in it.  After the wedding, I'll post a picture.

Kleinfelds Part I

KLEINFELDS!!  To the uninitiated, the TLC reality series, "Say Yes to the Dress" is filmed at the renowned Grand Dame of them all…Kleinfelds in New York, New York.  It has long been a dream of my daughters to visit.

Now, we had a reason.  Getting an appointment AND finding a time when all five of us were free was no easy task.  As it was, Julia had to miss softball practice.  But as she said, "In five years, I will not remember if I went to softball practice or not, but I WILL remember that I helped Maggie pick out her wedding dress."

The day finally came.  I only got an appointment on a Sunday due to a cancellation.  Really, we were going for the experience, I told the girls, AND myself.  If you've ever watched the show, you know how wildly expensive the dresses can be.  

After arriving at the New Haven train station for the ride into New York, and yes, Mom falling on a patch of ice in my haste to tell the girls to "…be careful on the ice,"  we boarded the train to NYC. An hour and a half later, we arrived at Grand Central.  If you've never been, you must.  It is one of the most beautiful buildings I've ever seen.  Grand, (ha ha), regal, ornate.  

Two taxies later, we arrived at Kleinfelds.  Now, I must admit…I was a little disappointed. The facade was unimpressive. The interior made up for it, however. It was elegant without being over-done. 

Our consultant was patient, kind and professional.  Please note above the picture of Julia, KK, and Tess waiting for Maggie 's next dress to be modeled.

Maggie tried on an ungodly number of dresses. But... Did she say, "Yes to the dress???"   Check back 

tomorrow for part II of "KLEINFELDS" to find out...

Wedding Dress - Day 2

Our second dress shopping experience was to a mid-size bridal shop.  This necessitated an appointment as well, but they also required a deposit. If you stood them up, they would charge your credit card. Not happy.

I swore to myself that I WOULD NOT GO TO THIS ESTABLISHMENT when our wedding  journey began. But there were not many other choices for a store in our area of this size and inventory. When one of the girls was prom dress shopping, this store over-charged me THREE times on one transaction. Too many errors to be a coincidence, in my book.

The service was adequate, but I felt rushed, and another consultant and bride were breathing down our necks. Maggie and I felt sure 'that other bride' was pinching our choices! - Well, I was sure, anyway...  :-)

One good thing did come out of this experience, however. We found a dress we LOVED, but we were still not sure. Maggie took down the store's price and delivery timeframe, as well as the designer name and dress skew number. When we got home, she contacted the company directly and was told they would ship to our home in half the time with a savings of $1,600!!  She would have to arrange her own alterations, though, but the store was going to charge us for those anyway!  Alas... It was NOT  the dress... Tomorrow, KLEINFELDS!!

The Wedding Dress - Day 1

THE WEDDING DRESS ---  Is there any one thing that is more important to a bride?  I'll answer that for you-- no!!

Maggie and I took a three-prong approach.  First, we went to a tiny wedding boutique, next to a midsize bridal store…then to the Grand Dame of them all…Kleinfeld's in New York.  You know - the massive store where the reality show"Say Yes To the Dress"is filmed?  I'll tell you about all three experiences over a three day period.  Today, we'll start with the tiny boutique.

First of all, I was surprised that most brides today wear some shade of OFF-white.  When I was married 30 years ago, I wore stark white. I admit, the ivory shade is much more flattering to all skin tones.  Pure white can be so harsh.

The advantages of a tiny boutique?  Personalized attention.  We were the only ones in the store, as it was by appointment only, and only one bride was admitted at a time.  We had the wedding consultant's undivided attention.  The downside?  --Limited inventory.

We actually made two trips to the tiny boutique, as they had one dress we loved…but it was not 'The Dress.'  Another negative, they didn't take American Express.  Tiny establishments often do not, as their cost per transition is more than Visa, Mastercard, or Discover.  And in my opinion, American Express has the best buyers' protection, as well as bonus/cash- back options.

Rob and Maggie

The happy couple… Today's

post focuses on the site of the wedding.  This could be a church or other venue.  You may choose to get married at a religious site, i.e. church or synagogue, or have the wedding ceremony performed at the same location as the reception.  

My daughter is getting married at one of the Roman Catholic churches in town.  We have three.  Our situation was a little complicated, in that the bride and groom wanted to marry in the larger, and I'll admit PRETTIER, Catholic church in town.  But alas, we are parishioners at one of the other churches.  Luckily, both priests worked with them and they are being allowed to marry at St. Paul's, the larger, prettier church.  

Keep in mind any religious requirements you may face if you get married at a church.  My kids could not get their wedding date on the church calendar until they met with the priest and presented him with their Baptism, First Communion, First Reconciliation, and Confirmation Certificates.  After they were "on the calendar," they had to attend a "Pre-Cana" counseling session for engaged couples.  

What if you choose a no-religious site?  Often you have the option of getting married right at your reception venue.  You will need someone to preform the ceremony, and make sure the venue offers set up and breakdown of the chairs needed for the ceremony.  Watch those extra charges!

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best   My new mystery about a wedding planner in sunny Santa Barbara, CA - a light read…available on amazon, Barnes and Noble, and Apple iBooks on e-book format

First Things First

First things first when planning a wedding.  Set the date.  Many factors must be taken into account when setting the big day.  

1)  Family work schedules
2)  School dates for siblings, maybe even for the bride and groom
3)  Travel availability for out of town guests
4)  Site availability - Note - Fridays and Sundays are often a less expensive option for wedding sites
5)  Weather - My daughter scheduled her wedding on a Friday in June as her preferred Saturday was not available.  This put her wedding plans at potential risk.  As we live in New England, and if we had a bad winter, her sisters' last day of school would be moved back.  Her sisters could possibly be taking finals on her wedding day.  Will keep you updated on that…but it's not looking good.  Lots of snow this winter.  
6)  Season - Is your reception site set up to handle an all indoor event if weather is inclement?
7)  Church availability 
8)  Do you need a long engagement to save up for the wedding?

Tomorrow, step two, church/reception site.