"Bridal Shower"

The Bridal Shower…

I haven't been to a bridal shower in ages and ages.  I wonder if they are smilier to those we had 30 years ago when I got married?

Welcome to a series over the next few days on bridal showers.  I had three when I got married, but as I mentioned before, no bachelorette.

My favorite shower was the one given by two of my bridesmaids, Wendi and Yvonne.  Guests were my friends, rather than my mother's, although my mom, future mother-in-law and grandmother attended.  It was a stereotypical shower, punch, cake, games and gifts.  Today, I still use the muffin tins my friend, Yvonne gave me!

And the games… one was entitled, "The Mary and Kenny Game"  Among the questions were: 1) "Where to do you want to live?"  - Answer: San Diego, CA -- Where we live: Connecticut.  2) "What car, Mary, do you want to drive?" - Answer: Volvo Wagon -- What I drive: Chevy Suburban (close… :-)  3) "How many children to do you want?" - Answer: 5   -- How many we have… 4

Tomorrow, trends in today's bridal showers.  http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Wedding Transportation"

The above picture is my idea of wedding elegance.  Many brides choose a white limo, but I like the black.  One could always go the route of the picture to the right, however…if one wanted to make a statement, or keep in theme with their wedding color…    :-)

There are many things to consider in ordering car service.  Is ALL the wedding party riding in limos/ buses/town cars?  Can one limo make more than one trip and "Shuttle" people?  Do you have designated drivers? Can you order one limo for the bride and groom - then a town car to take them to their hotel for the night?

Keep in mind your wedding may be in "prom" season, so it is best to order early so those pesky little high school students don't "beat you to it"!

Also, consider if a wedding package is more cost effective than a flat hourly fare.  Packages are more cost effective than to rent a car by the hour.  Good luck! http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Band vs DJ"

Quite the conundrum…  Do you want a band or a DJ at your wedding?  Many factors play into this decision (no pun intended)…

Cost, space, music choices, and MC, (master of ceremony), abilities are all things to be factored in.  If we have good weather, we will have more than enough room for dancing at the reception venue.  If it rains, everyone will be accommodated, but the inside dance floor will not be spacious.  Thus, a DJ would make more sense, as he would take less room than a full band.

And what about a tent for inclement weather? Some brides just roll the dice, others plan for the worse case scenario --HOWEVER, if your ceremony is on-site, you better spring for that tent..but I digress…


The music all boils down to personal choice, as so many things in life do…

In May, we are invited to the wedding of the son of family friends.  In their invitation, they had a little card enclosed asking for your favorite songs to be played by the DJ at the reception.  A novel and cute idea…
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

Keep scrolling for those pictures...

"Roses"

It's funny... When you start thinking about and planning a wedding, i.e., Maggie's, it brings back lots of thoughts and memories of your own. We were on the way to Boston yesterday, stopped at a major intersection. A man walked through the traffic lines selling roses.  You know the ones. I had a flashback to the night of my own wedding rehearsal.

Kenny and his groomsmen picked me up in the parking lot where I was teaching... to travel to Ojai for the Wedding Rehearsal and Dinner. It was a two hour drive from where I was teaching my first year of school - first grade - IN A TRAILER - Yes, California had it's education issues even back then.

Detour in LA, and we are stopped at a major intersection off the freeway. A man is walking through the traffic lanes... Selling flowers. A groomsmen in the car ahead of us bought a rose bouquet, popped out of his car and ran then back to me. Some of the most memorable flowers I've received.   I'm sure you don't read my blog, Pat, but thank you. It made a sweet, nostalgic night that much more special.
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Thoughtfulness"

This post is mostly for me.  As the wedding day approaches, I have gotten caught up in myself, my own wedding worries, concerns - basically what matters to me.  And I have forgotten  to say, "Thank you," or show some appreciation to those who have been enormous help.  The lovely basket above was an engagement gift to Maggie and Rob from a mutual friend.  It just gave me pause that a very young woman had the time and thoughtfulness to create such a lovely gift.

So I'm going to learn from her. I'm going to be more thoughtful.  I'm going to tell all those around me who have been gracious and patient in my ceaseless rambling about "the wedding" and those who have helped so much - mainly Debbie, (Rob's mom), and my own mother, "Thank you!"  :-)

The picture to the left is supposed to be pink, as it goes with the "pink"theme of the above gift basket!

"Spaghetti Dinner"

It's funny how much you don't know when you first get married, even though you think you know it all…

I THOUGHT I  knew a little about cooking when we got married 30 years ago.... I had won a 6th grade talent contest in…cooking…, after all - I know!  Can you believe it?!?

Well, my cooking skills consisted of throwing a steak in a frying pan and cooking it…Not much of a "talent."

I had given no thought to my first dinner preparation as a new wife.  We only had a three day honeymoon to San Francisco, as I was in the middle of the school year, (teaching), and our first full day back home,  I worked.  I was exhausted at the end of the school day.  I checked the office one last time for messages before calling it a day, no email back then, and returned to my room to collect my belongings. And there... On my desk... Was the simple makings of a spaghetti  dinner. It consisted of a jar of Ragu sauce, a package of pasta, a bag of dinner rolls... and flowers.  I drove home with great excitement and that night, we ate like kings. To this day, one of my favorite weddings gifts!  The gift giver... Anonymous

And as a footnote... my wonderful husband has perfected quite the homemade red sauce. Guess he finally got tired of Ragu!  :-)

Yep… that's me below in the picture, my first year of teaching, the year we got married.  Now no one can say I don't include embarrassing things about myself in this blog…
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Gift Basket"

Well, here it is, the Bachelorette Gift Basket I made for Maggie's party (the basket theme…"Honeymoon Travel").

The picture on top is the finished product, the one to the left is an unwrapped shot, better for your viewing pleasure…   :-)

If I haven't mentioned it here before, I am not very creative or crafty.  I am especially proud of the finished product.  Thanks for the bow, Debbie…

This has motivated me to create more baskets/bags.  We do have a shower coming up…  Question…Do people still play those silly party games at showers?  I must admit, I sure enjoyed them when I was a bride.

"Out Of Town Guests"

I wish I could take credit for this idea, but I can't.  It is the brain-child of my creative, thoughtful, soon to be co-mother-in-law, Debbie. ---with some help from my "attention to detail" daughter.

If you are having out of town guests, (we are), contact a local hotel and arrange for a block of rooms at a discount - even I knew to think of that.

 Debbie took this courtesy one step further, and suggested providing  a guest "goodie bag" for the out of town guests, to be waiting in their hotel rooms upon their arrival.  This could contain local take out menus, maps of the area, suggestions of local attractions, snacks for late arrivals that first night, a water bottle, and even a second invitation to the "Out Of Town Brunch" the day after the wedding (who thinks to pack that?).  Debbie and I are co-hosting this event for all those weary travelers.  Yes…I know, we may be insane…  More on that next time…  :-)

And keep scrolling for those pictures…if you are an out-of-town guest, staying in a hotel, you just MAY see a picture of your future lodgings!

"Wedding Photography"

Not only is Maggie blessed to be marrying into such a great family, but the whole Karnes family is as well.  I will not go into all the wonderful attributes of our future in-laws today, just one.

Rob's brother, and best man, is a professional photographer.  And not just any old photographer, an outstanding one - a true artist.  You MUST see his still photos and media at www.mattstaublemedia.com   He has traveled the world perusing his craft, and his work will amaze you!

But Matt always has time to take pictures of the family, from Maggie's graduation, to family- dinner get togethers.  He, of course, took Maggie and Rob's engagement picture below.  As best man he can not take the wedding pictures, his duties that day lie elsewhere.  But he has lined up another great photographer.  One less thing to worry about.

And what do you, my friends, think of recording the wedding?  It was a relatively new thing when we got married, but we chose NOT to do it.  Why?  Because I wanted to remember our wedding how I thought is was, how I thought I looked, not necessarily how I really DID…  a truly personal choice.

One thing I know I DO want to to, and I have asked Matt about this… I want to have Maggie dressed in her gown about a month before the wedding, have him take her portrait, and then have a large picture of her displayed at the reception. Lovely

And as  a bonus, Matt will walk me down the isle to my seat right before the wedding party files in!

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best  IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY, CHECK OUT MY COZY MYSTERY - A FAST READ, AND A GOOD DEAL!

"Bachelorette Party Gifts"

***Spoiler Alert***



If you, as mother of the bride, are going to attend part, if not all, of your daughter's bachelorette party, you MAY be stumped for a gift idea…

I will be attending the dinner portion of my daughter's party, and I will take a gift… this was a worry…  until I decided to be practical and I hope, fun.  I going to give a "Honeymoon Care Package."  All in very good "Mother of the Bride" taste.

This will include electric converters…can't say where the bride and groom are going, but they will need them.. a cute "on the go" kit, (see photo below with list of all included items), magazines, ("Sports Illustrated" and "Vogue"), non-perishable snacks, sewing kit, first aid kit, sunscreen, antacid, pain reliever, mints/gum, aloe, hand sanitizer, hand lotion, bug spray, passport carriers and lip balm. I'm considering hats and sunglasses - if I can find cute ones.  I'm sure I'll think of a few other items before the party, I'll keep you posted…

Tomorrow… wedding photographers!  -- Keep scrolling for those pictures...

"Spoiler Alert TWO!"

How many of you ladies recognize the Betty Crocker Cookbook above?  My mother had one that she received for her own wedding.  It was like an old friend.  She used it constantly.  It showed the signs of use, however.

About ten years ago, the Betty Crocker Cookbook editors had a special anniversary printing.  It was an EXACT replica of the original, except in the anniversary edition, all the pages were laminated for easy clean up.  I bought it for my mom, and I think she appreciated it as much as any gift I have ever given her.

For a young bride, a good cookbook can be invaluable.  So can family recipes, both for cooking education and nostalgia.

I am helping my mom compile a collection of family recipes for my mother to give to Maggie as a shower gift.  This will be especially dear for Maggie, as her paternal grandmother has passed away.  I am lucky to have some of her HANDWRITTEN recipes that I am going to xerox, and give to my mom to put in a cookbook binder.  The cookbook binder will include recipes from both Rob's grandmothers, mom, sister, my mom, two great grandmothers, my mother-in-law, cousin and Maggie's two aunts.  Any other family members reading this who want to contribute, let me know!

I am not a good cook, Maggie however,  is.  I hope she will cherish these pieces of family history.  I know she will...

"Spoiler Alert"

Miss Maggie -- this is your only warning…Spoiler Alert!

It is quite a challenge for a mother to find the "just right" bridal shower gift for her daughter.  You want something that will last, has sentimental value - and is not necessarily practical.

My maternal grandmother was quite a crocheter.  She had patience and was gifted in her art.  Any major milestone in my life…graduation, wedding, new baby,  I would receive a wonderful handmade piece - doilies, afghans, tablecloths.  She is gone now, and of course, missed.  My girls were lucky and knew her well.  And I am blessed to have many, many examples of her beautiful work.

To the right, is one of her doilies.  I have washed it, starched it, and on Tuesday, I am taking it to my local craft store to have it professionally sewn into a shadow-box type frame.  I will give it to Maggie at a bridal shower.

As a bonus, I know Rob will appreciate it as well.

Tomorrow, special gift number two...

"Buyers Remorse?"

So…I will confess.  I have yet to get my "Mother of the Bride" or 'MOB' dress fitted!  Why?

Well to be honest, I'm not completely sure…I keep telling myself I want to "tone" up a little.  Then I ask myself if I really want to splurge so on one little dress?  Buyer's remorse has set in, compounded by the fact that I really CAN return it to the ultra customer-friendly Nordstrom.

I was shopping the other day with the younger girls, and ran across a lovely dress from Ann Taylor's spring line.  It was on sale!  I bought it, thinking how cost friendly I would be by returning the Nordstrom designer dress.  Then I thought again.  What if a GUEST at the wedding had the same dress I had as "Mother of the Bride"???  IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE, MORE THAN ONCE…not being the Mother of the Bride part, but I have appeared at more than one function in the same dress as another guest…one time when I was five months pregnant, and the other guest was not.  Guess who looked better…not I…

So I am keeping the designer dress, AND the Ann Taylor dress for the Rehearsal Dinner!

And speaking of the Rehearsal Dinner…more on that tomorrow, AND the bride's attire...

"Invitations"

Did you know that if you take your completed invitations to the post office and have them "hand canceled", you run less risk of damage to the envelope during the 'stamp cancellation process'?  Hand canceling is when the postal attendant stamps your wedding stamp, (remember the ones you purchased for 70 cents?), with a rubber stamp instead of sending it through a machine.

The United States Postal Service - and for such mail as wedding invitations, we are stuck with them  - gives each post office in the country at least one wooden handled rubber stamp with every day of the year printed on them for just such purposes.

A 'fun' idea to try on the wedding invitation envelopes is sealing the outer envelopes with wax and then imprinting the wet wax with a wedding themed symbol.  The wax can be placed in a glue gun for easy application, and the metal embosser to make the imprint in the wax can be purchased at any bridal site.  The bride might give their wedding guests a hint to the wedding color with the wax color...

"Tips and Fun Facts II"

Did you know that you have up to one year, per Emily Post the grand guru of etiquette, to send out your wedding thank yous?  Sounds pretty silly, but that is wedding gospel.  And no… an email will NOT suffice.

I can see why Mrs. Post would have given new brides a year.  There is so much to do.  First the honeymoon, then the new home, job, school.  But I think a year's too long.  What to do?  I suggest buying your thank you notes at the same time as your invitations, and extra stamps when you buy your wedding stamps, and recording the gifts as they come in.  THEN get those thank yous out within a day or two.  Many people order wedding gifts right off a couple's on-line registry, and have them shipped to the bride's home.  So while brides still have a "Gift Table" at the reception, it may not be as full as years' past.  So new brides, there is little excuse to put off those thank you notes!

Are fiancés, and new husbands expected to help with those thanks yous?  Well, that is between the individual couples, but we still live in a double standard world… if your thank yous are late or never appear in the gift givers' mailbox, the bride is the one to be blamed.

"Simply the Best" a mystery about a wedding planner in Santa Barbara, CA by Mary P Karnes available on amazon Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook in e-book form.

"Tips and Fun Facts"

Remember when you were planning YOUR wedding?  After it was all done, didn't you feel like you could be a professional wedding planner?  I sure did.  Then…thirty years pass, and things change.  And I felt like a complete novice... well, I am.  I had only planned one wedding up to this point...

So here are a few things I picked up planning Maggie's wedding:

1) Did you know that there is a special wedding stamp which allows for the extra weight of the invitation, while not being the price of two stamps?  I didn't, but what a money saver!  It retails for .70 cents.  (See the picture above) The picture below is a lovely rose stamp which can be used for the return envelopes for the response cards.  Speaking of which...

2) Consider numbering the backs of the response cards.  Think about it.  If someone forgets to put their return address on the response card, which will be returned to your home address, how do you know if they have ordered the salmon, or the chicken?  When the response cards start coming in the mail, quickly record a "yes" or "no" on your master list, and what the meal choice is.

3) And when those response do start flowing in, have a basket in which to keep them separate from the regular mail. And get to those cards nightly.  Don't let them get away from you.

Tomorrow, more thoughtful notes...

"Bachelorette Party II"

So what to wear to your bachelorette?  I can't talk about what my own bride's wearing, for one reason, she doesn't know yet, and two…I can't talk about it!

But usually the organizer of the event will send along a suggestion of preference for the evening.  It's like anything else, a wide range of wardrobe suggestions from the LBD to swimsuits!

So what to do at your bachelorette?  This can be as broad as your wedding.  It can be a destination event - "Trip to Vegas!" - or as simple as dinner and drinks at a local restaurant.  Spa days are high on the list of "to do's" - who doesn't like to be pampered for a few hours - and this can accommodate multiple age groups.  It's always fun to visit a different city for your event as well.

An obvious suggestion… get designated drivers, cabs, or a hotel close to your venue and walk.  And remember…in this age of technology we live, nothing that "Happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" any more...

"Bachelorette Party"

Kathleen, our bride's sister and maid of honor,  REALLY should be writing this post.  One of the duties of maid of honor is to organize the "Bachelorette Party."  Or as they call it in the UL, a "Hen Party."

KK  may have missed her calling, and should have been a professional party planner after demonstrating all the precision work and organization she did on this event.  It's a thing of beauty, and very tasteful.  Remember, her little sisters will attend…

I don't know about you ladies of MY generation, but I did not have a bachelorette party.  I had three showers, but no bachelorette.  Were they a thing then?

Anyway… it is now.  I can't share the details with you, in fact these invitations are supposed to be a surprise…but they were made so creatively and skillfully by KK, that I had to show you. Guess what the theme is?  Just think the "little blue box" that any woman wants to receive…

Tomorrow, I JUST might give you some details…Ok...tomorrow, I'll tell all!

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best
And don't forget to check out my new cozy-mystery: "Simply the Best" by Mary P Karnes available in e-book form on Barnes and Noble - Nook and amazon - Kindle!

"Your Exit"

According to Piglette's Factual Universe, www.piglette.com  -



"The tradition of throwing rice is a custom which has survived in Europe since  the Middle Ages. This practice began in the East, where rice is considered to be a symbol of fertility. In weddings the guests throw rice over the bride and groom in the hope that the couple have many children.Therefore the rice which is thrown when the bride and groom leave the church or wedding ceremony means prosperity and fertility, which is wished upon the new marriage so that it results in a great family, and abundance in all meanings of the word.  These days rose petals are  also thrown to represent a sweet and full future.

In Poland, as well as the cusom of tossing rice, there is a tradition of geuest dropping coins at the bride and groom's feet for them to pick up as they leave the church. In Malaysian weddings which span a total of two days, rice and scented water is sprinkled over the bride to greet her at her home on the second days of the ceremony.

Due to a widely held, but false, belief that birds eating the rice left over from the wedding will explode, some marriage ceremonies use birdseed rather than rice. Because of this, some weddings use the blowing of bubbles instead.  Rice does not harm birds however, this having been confirmed  by The Cornell Lab of Ornithology,  Birdwatcher Digest and Birder's magazine.  In fact, many birds eat raw rice throughout the world and naturally enjoy it without exploding.  As one scientist explained, if rice had the effect stated, why aren't there pieces of birds scattered everywhere near rice fields!"  Keep scrolling for pictures...

So apparently, throwing rice is NOT harmful to birds, but it can be to humans.  Besides making a mess, guests in their dress shoes can slip on it, or be hit in the eye. A few lawsuits have resulted, and so many establishments have banned it's use.  Options you may want to consider for a festive send off are: pom poms, lavender, birdseed, paper airplanes, balloons, horseshoe, four leaf clover, or heart shaped confetti, sprinkles, bubbles, sparklers, ribbons and streamers, fake snow, beach balls, rose petals, and my personal favorite for a night time departure…glow stick!


On a personal note, I thought we may use bubbles at our upcoming family wedding…but recent family research determines that bubbles may stain your dress…I'll keep you posted.  

"The Grand Departure II"

If I had it to do all over again…I would arrange a very romantic, scripted departure from our wedding reception.  I would leave about an hour before the band was due to end -- almost everyone was still in attendance.  I would have the guests follow us out to our waiting limo and throw birdseed… the environmentally friendly alternative to rice at the time.  There are so many other options out there now for rice alternatives. But for Kenny and me, this would have raised a few logistic glitches.  We were staying at the hotel were the reception was held… where would the limo take us?  :-)

But then again, we would have missed a few of Kenny's friends dancing on the tables at the very end of the evening… yes, we had a tasteful, classy affair, but at the end…fun was to be had…

See pictures below for just a few of rice throwing alternatives, natural confetti, plantable seed confetti, colored rice, champagne bottle shaped bubbles, flower petals…tomorrow, the history of rice throwing, and what MY daughter may do…  Keep scrolling for pictures...

"The Grand Departure"

As the bride, have you given thought to your grand departure?  As the bride in my OWN wedding, I did not.  We had a fun, fun reception, and as Kenny and I were staying in the bridal suite in the hotel where the reception was held, there was no sense if urgency to depart. We stayed till the bitter end.  This was good, because we enjoyed the entire receptions.  But it had its drawbacks, as our departure was anti-climatic.

If I had it to do over, I'd orchestrate a grand departure.

This creates some logistical issues.  Notice the picture to the right.  You see the bride and groom leaving the church amid rice and tossed rose petals.  Is this really feasible?  I don't think so.  If you do not want to see your groom before the wedding, your wedding pictures must follow AFTER the ceremony.  Usually, you exit the church a married couple, possibly form a receiving line with the principle members of your family to greet guests as they file out of the church, THEN guest go onto cocktails at the reception and YOU take pictures.  When to throw the rice…and do you WANT to throw RICE?  What are your other options ?  More tomorrow…  Keep scrolling for pictures...

"Delegate, Delegate, Delegate!"

Now that the big decisions are complete, you may think you can sit back and relax. Wrong!  Now it's time to get the little pesky things in order.  Have you chosen your centerpieces for your dining tables?  Maybe you have.  Maybe you have decided to let your florist handle them.  Or maybe you are very fortunate, and you have a super creative future mother-in law like my daughter does…

This is where the delegation comes in.  My daughter is very good at recognizing talents in others.  She can acknowledge others' strengths and use them in a productive manner.  And the beauty of planning a wedding, is that people really do want to help and feel included.  My friend, Debbie, Rob's mom, is exceptionally creative and crafty.  I am not.  So she has stepped up and been a fantastic resource in making the wedding beautiful.  She has a vision of things that would never have occurred to me.

Kenny, as previously mentioned, is helping with the music.  He has a talent there, and a love for it.  What are my talents, you ask?  Well, to be truthful…I'm not sure, but I AM a good workhorse.  ;-)

And I can address a mean envelope in a pretty decent calligraphy script…

The pictures you see on this page are just a few ideas that you may want to give some thought to…Bubbles for the guests to blow as you depart…dinner place cards… centerpieces.  Food for thought...

Keep scrolling for pictures.