Wedding on a Time Budget??

You just got engaged!  What's the date?  People ask.

Well, if you want a big, grand affair, you better allow at least a year of preparation; if you want a Saturday night, at the venue of your choice, you should allow at least 18 months!

Some do not want to wait that long.  That is one reason Maggie and Rob, KK and Tyler chose to be married on a Friday night.  There are more options on Friday.

But what if you don't want to wait even a year?
Well, you don't have to…you just have to be flexible, open to compromise, and keep what's really important in perspective…joining for life the love of your life.

I was talking to a friend of long acquaintance the other day.  She shared her wedding story, and what a story it was!  The wedding was put together with a limited timeframe.  An outdoor ceremony was presided over by a justice of the peace at a remodeled abbey.  A family brunch followed.  It was heart-felt and meaningful.  It was not a matter of concern…at that moment in time... that the bride's condo had just burned down due to a neighbor's faulty fan hookup…or that the bride had to wedge  her size "10's" into size nine shoes…or even that the bride, (a district sales rep for the famous West Coast candy company, "See's"), was robbed of her candy stock by her two dogs - who became sick, in a most undignified fashion, in front of visiting wedding guests… the important fact... the bride and groom's dearer friends and family were present, the focus on what was truly important - their joyful union.

I hope you enjoyed the painting/photos.  A brief description is below.

Image #1 - Painting by Marcia Hackelman Van Dyke, Olympia, WA - an old college acquaintance.

Image #2 - Maggie and Rob's wedding with friends, photo creds, wedding guests

Image #3 - KK, the bride to be
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The Roman Catholic Wedding Ceremony

Our family is Roman Catholic.  It is not easy to be married "in the church."  There is more work involved than a protestant ceremony.  I can speak from experience, as Kenny and I were married first in the Presbyterian Church, (my church growing up), then we had a second wedding in the Catholic Church after I converted to Roman Catholicism.

I think if religion is important to both the bride and groom, it is not to everyone, it's easier if a couple is untied.  Kenny and I made the decision before we married that we would first get married in my "hometown church," then I would convert.  I didn't realize, however, that it would take me TWO years to complete the process, and that it would require getting married all over again.  I don't think any parish requires that today.  This was 30 years ago, remember.

Maggie and Rob, KK and Tyler are lucky.  All four are Roman Catholics.  They didn't have to jump through the hoops that Kenny and I did.  There is a lengthy process, though.

In order to be married in the Catholic Church, either the bride or the groom must be a confirmed Catholic.  One can not become a confirmed Catholic unless he/she is baptized, attends 9 years of CCD - religious education, received his/her First Holy Communion, and First Reconciliation (you may think of this as "Confession").  Then the candidate is eligible to attend between one and two years of "Confirmation Classes."  Finally after all this, the candidate is accepted into the Church as a full member.

Now you want to receive the Sacrament of marriage?  One must be a registered member of a parish, or his/her parents are.  All sacraments, (listed above), must be documented.  Then the bride and groom meet, on average, three times with a priest, and attend a "pre-cana" marriage workshop.  This is at least a five hour class.  The class addresses everything from children, to in-laws to finance.  A lot of work?  You bet.  But so is marriage.  The Catholic Church has struggled in the recent past, but I think this is one thing they're doing right...

Image # 1 - abt-unk.blogspot.com
Image # 2 - www.oldsaintmarys.org
Image # 3 - alleneoccasions.com

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best   My e-book mystery about a wedding planner!

Did You Preserve Your Bridal Bouquet?

Did you preserve your own bridal bouquet?  My mother did for me.  I kept it faithfully on my dresser top for over 25 years.  Then sometime after that…I prefer not to pinpoint the actual date…I knocked the glass display jar off the dresser, (where my bouquet was housed), and broke it into smithereens.  :-(

To the left, please see a picture of my actual bouquet.

But the good news is, I enjoyed it all these years (in January, we will celebrate 31 years of marriage)!

I did not professionally preserve Maggie's bouquet.  Instead, I saved some blooms and dried them.  I also saved some ribbon from her bouquet.  I washed it, ironed it, but as of yet, I'm not sure how I will used it.

Will I have KK's professionally preserved?  Well, maybe, now that I've done a little research.  There are a few different ways to accomplish this.

According to theknot.com, (please click on the link below for greater detail), the two most common ways are "Press and Frame" which is exactly what it sounds like: press a few flowers between something heavy, and frame them... maybe with a wedding photo or two.

The second method is the "Glass Dome or Shadow Box" option.  This is similar to what I had done.  The bouquet is professionally saved by a preservationist company.  One such company is
  timelessmoments.com  I have never used this company, so can not speak of their work.  But with the internet, countess companies are at your fingertips.  If you think you may want to go this route, plan ahead.  You will need someone to send in your bouquet within a day or two of your wedding.  He/she will need an address, and a box.  Make it easy for them!

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/wedding-flowers/articles/how-to-preserve-your-bouquet.aspx

Image # 1 bellethemagazine.com
Image #  3 Brides.com
Image # 4 thepinkbride.com
http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

How Did Tyler Ask HIS Attendants To Stand Up For Him?

I think too often all the focus of the wedding is on the bride.  We as a society, or at least we WOMEN, tend to forget how important a man's wedding is to him.   We get too caught up in our dresses, our hair, make-up, showers,  and of course…our shoes.  It is a life changing event for the man as well.

We need to take a step back and realize the 'groom to be' has thoughts and aspirations to contribute.  Many grooms just say, "Hey,wanna be in my wedding?"  To which he gets the reply, "Sure."  Done.

But not my 'son-in-law to be'.  Tyler made his request to his groomsmen a fun thing, while still recognizing the seriousness of what he was asking.  His method was truly unique.   He sent all the men video clip, (a link is provided below), which he designed. I got a kick out of it, and hope you will too.  He had fun, and so did his attendants.  And by the way…they all said, "Sure!" to his request.  :-)

Please enjoy the photos included.  The top pic is of Tyler and his siblings, Amanda and Conner.  The second is Conner, Tyler's best man, at Maggie and Rob's wedding; and the final shot is of Tyler and Amanda at one of Amanda's high school volleyball games.  One of the things I love most about Tyler is his devotion to family.  I look forward to being included in that soon…

Just click on the line below to check out Tyler's creation.

http://youtu.be/RQZV1Ph_kc4

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

"Simply the Best" by Mary P. Karnes is a cozy mystery available on e-book format.  Click on the link for more details.

"How Will You Ask Your Attendants To Stand Up For You At Your Wedding?"

How will you ask your attendants to stand up for you at your wedding?  It's a big commitment, of time-wise and economically. If your bridesmaids are local, there is dress shopping, shoe shopping, and let's not forget emotional support!

Then there's the financial strain.  Those often hideous bridesmaids dresses are not cheap…and neither are the shoes.  Your attendants' travel may be another expense if they're from out of town.  Remember... the bride and her family are responsible for their lodging the night before the wedding and the night of.

Let's not forget the parties!  Your bridesmaids will certainly be invited to a wedding shower or two, as well as your bachelorette.  They may even be hosting one of those events.

So…how do you ask closest family and friends to "BE THERE" for you during the planning of your wedding and the big day?

My daughter, Kathleen who will be married July 3, 2015, made the most adorable notebooks and gave them to her bridesmaids when she officially asked them to be in her wedding.  Inside, she wrote a personal letter to each, gave instruction as to their duties, (she is SUCH a big sister!), and then left space for their own personal planning pages.  It's truly a wonderful keepsake.

Tomorrow…find out how Tyler asked his groomsmen to stand up for him.

Above is a picture of KK, (Kathleen), giving her "Maid of Honor" speech at Maggie and Rob's wedding.  Maggie…You have big shoes to fill in your capacity as Matron of Honor at KK's shindig!

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best  Check out my cozy mystery's website.  "Simply the Best" is an e-book about a wedding planner in Santa Barbara, CA.  It's available from Barnes and Noble, amazon, Apple iBooks and other vendors.  Next in the series is due out soon!

Once Again…Mother of the Bride Dress...

So… I had a plan.  I bought my dream dress, as my "Mother of the Bride" dress, for Maggie and Rob's wedding… and I was going to wear it for KK's wedding.  I presented my thought to my family, but my BRILLIANT plan was shot down.  Not by my daughters, they were all OK with it, but by my husband.

He thought the family wedding pictures would suffer…

One more thing to worry about. The pressure was on!  A couple of weeks ago, I visited Maggie and Rob in Philly.  They were the ultimate tour guides. We enjoyed a horse drawn carriage ride and took in the historical sights, visited Maggie's school, U Penn, Rob's Optometry School, had Philly Cheese Steaks, (I prefer Geno's), saw the Liberty Bell, and traveled the Main Line.  But I didn't mention… we also went to the King of Prussia Mall - the biggest mall in America, measured by the most retail stores. Guess what?!?

I found a dress!

While I can not show you the dress…I CAN share with you a swatch.  Yep, blue again!  It's a loose weave with a matching under slip.  And yes, it's sleeveless once more.  Am I a masochist?!?  But again, I love the dress.  It's simple, but has a little more flair than what I'm wearing in the picture above.  Can't wait!  But of course if it's not KK's vision - it will be changed. It's her day!

You know this means I have to buy another tube of "Fat Girl Skinny Arm Candy" by Bliss, and start using my hand weights again…

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

KK and Tyler's Engagement Party!

We had a small gathering at our home last weekend to formally celebrate the engagement of KK and Tyler - just our families.  From our side, KK, Rob and Maggie, (matron of honor), Bob and Debbie, (Rob's mom and dad), Tess, Julia, (bridesmaids), Ken and me.

Tyler's family included Tyler, his dad, David,  mom, Janice, and step-dad, Patrick, brother Conner, sister Amanda, Godfather Jack, his daughter Alyssa, and her boyfriend Neal.  Please see the picture to the right of Tyler and his siblings.

It was a relaxed evening, good food, (Kenny's famous "Irish" meatballs), sauce and pasta, other favorite dishes brought by family and of course... good wine.  We had intended to get together for months, but with Maggie's wedding plans, school starting, it just didn't happen.  But it was worth the wait.  We all just clicked.  Good times ahead…more family to celebrate with and enjoy.

Janice, Tyler's mom, continued the tradition Debbie started.  She gave Tyler and KK a wedding topper to be used for their wedding cake.  It is just gorgeous.  I can't wait to see it on the cake.  KK was thrilled.  More to follow...

http://my.bookbaby.com/book/simply-the-best

My new mystery --- available on amazon, Barnes and Noble, apple iBooks and other vendors.  Just visit my website for details!